Walking into a Japanese restaurant for the first time can feel intimidating. The rituals, the rules, the subtle gestures — it all seems so precise. But here’s the truth: Japanese dining etiquette isn’t about making you nervous. It’s about showing respect — to the food, to the chef, and to your companions.

At Kyoto Garden, we want every guest to feel welcome, whether it’s your first time or your fiftieth. Here’s our guide to dining the Japanese way.

Before You Arrive

Reservations Matter

In Japan, uncancelled no-shows are considered deeply rude. The same applies here. If you book a table, honour it — or cancel with reasonable notice. For omakase counter dining, this is especially important as seating is limited.

Dress Smartly

Japanese dining, particularly at restaurants like Kyoto Garden, tends to be an elevated experience. Smart casual is the norm — think neat, comfortable, and presentable.

At the Table

Chopstick Etiquette

Chopsticks are central to Japanese dining, and there are a few firm rules:

Never stick chopsticks upright in rice — this resembles incense at funerals and is considered extremely unlucky
Don’t pass food from chopstick to chopstick — this also mimics funeral rites
Don’t point with chopsticks — use your whole hand instead
Rest chopsticks on the holder (provided) when not eating, never across your bowl

That said, don’t stress too much. At Kyoto Garden, we’re happy to provide a fork if you’d prefer — enjoyment of the meal matters more than perfect technique.

The Napkin Rule

In Western dining, you place your napkin on your lap. In Japanese dining, you place it on the table to wipe your hands before eating, then set it aside. It’s a small difference, but you’ll notice the difference when you’re served.

To Slurp or Not to Slurp?

Here’s the good news: slurping is not only acceptable in Japan — it’s considered a compliment to the chef.

Slurping noodles signals enjoyment and helps cool the noodles before you chew. It also aerates the broth, enhancing the flavour. So when your ramen or soba arrives, don’t be shy — give it an enthusiastic slurp.

With sushi and sashimi, slurping isn’t necessary or expected. These are meant to be eaten quietly, in one bite, with your fingers if you prefer.

The Order of a Japanese Meal

If you’re enjoying a multi-course kaiseki-style meal or omakase, courses typically arrive in a specific order:

Appetizer (Zen) — Small dishes to stimulate the appetite
Soup (Suimono) — Light, clear broth
Sashimi — Raw fish, the purest expression of the chef’s skill
Grilled (Yakimono) — Fish or meat cooked over flame
Simmered (Nimono) — Vegetables and protein in seasoned broth
Fried (Agedemono) — Tempura and similar dishes
Rice & Pickles (Gohan & Tsukemono) — Concluding carbohydrates
Dessert (Mizugashi) — Light, seasonal sweet

At Kyoto Garden, our omakase follows a similar philosophy — building from delicate to bold, light to rich.

Drinking Etiquette

Pouring for Others

In Japan, it’s considered impolite to pour your own drink. Instead, you pour for others, and they pour for you. This reciprocal gesture builds connection and shows care for your companions.

When someone pours for you, it’s polite to hold your glass with both hands as a thank-you.

Saying “Cheers”

The Japanese word forCheers is “Kanpai” — literally “empty the cup.” Lift your glass, make eye contact with each person at the table, and say kanpai before drinking.

When You’re Unsure

The most important rule of Japanese dining: when in doubt, ask.

Your server at Kyoto Garden is there to guide you. Not sure which sake to pair with your dish? Ask. Unsure how to eat a particular item? Ask. There’s no shame in learning, and the staff will appreciate your interest in doing things right.

It’s About Enjoyment

Here’s what we want you to know: while these traditions are meaningful, they’re not about making you uncomfortable. Japanese dining is rooted in mindfulness and appreciation — of the ingredients, the craft, and the company.

So come as you are. Enjoy the food. Let the conversation flow. And if you make a mistake with the chopsticks, just laugh — it’s all part of the experience.

We look forward to welcoming you at Kyoto Garden. Reserve your table online and discover the art of Japanese dining in Cape Town.